AND... He sits!

It's official. I'm going to say it! Jayce has been working VERY hard on sitting up lately. It seems as though he's been close for weeks, but just couldn't seem to get his balance and coordination under control, but now I think he's got it!

He's still a bit wobbly while on a super flat surface (like the hard floor), but he puts his little arms right out to hold himself up. He's also able to use that fat belly to help support that heavy head!

Here are just some of the pictures I've captured! Sorry for the overload... we just didn't know if he'd be able to sit independently, so the fact that he's doing it (and at only 6 months) is HUGE for him! Go Jayce, Go!!!

He sits in the bath tub!

 Splashing is super fun these days!

He plays with his toys in the living room!

Wild man!

Nice one, little man!

He looks a little nervous, but he's excited too, which inevitably causes him to fall over sideways!

But, his most favorite place to sit is outside on a blanket!

He loves to watch his brother play, especially when he's playing with his

remote controls!

 

In Wil News...

He may have had one of THE best days of his life yesterday. Our neighbors (3 boys between the ages of 6 and 11) were playing in their backyard. Wil loves to watch them, but is never brave enough to go ask if he can play too. Surprisingly, Adam was able to convince him to try last night. Wil walked right over and said, "me play, too?". Of course they said "SURE!" (THANK GOD!)

 

Heaven...

I snapped this picture from inside the house. Adam told me not to embarrass him! :)

He's getting so big!

 

First Day of School!

My baby started preschool today (Yes. At age 2)! We were wait-listed for months and got the call early this summer that space was avialable so we jumped on it!

He was super excited to go. Last week, we bought a new backpack and filled it with all of his things ~ extra clothes, a new water bottle and pictures from home.

 

Here are some pictures from the Open House that was held last Thursday morning. The kids were able to come with their parents to look around, play and meet the teachers (Miss Joan and Miss Kristen). Wil and I got to go, while Grandpa stayed home with Jayce.

The loft above and kitchen below. Wil loved this spot!

Circle time for calendar, books, songs and dancing!

Another one of the kitchen!

The block area, which include MANY cars and trucks!

Birthday bulletin board... notice the fish tank.

Wil got to feed them on his first day because he was so obsessed with them!

Art supplies and easels.

The baby goats! Wil's preschool is "out in the country" (sort of).

It backs up to the woods where there are many trails, which the classes use as the year goes on.

The kids learn about caring for animals and spend A LOT of time studying nature.

This was a huge selling point for us when we were searching for the perfect preschool for him.

He's our outside guy and we knew he'd love it here!

The playground!

 

When we arrived at school today, Wil placed his backpack and water bottle in his cubby and then had to sign-in. We found the laminated paper with his name on it and he signed it on the line below. Good thing we've been practicing his name. He was able to find and then "write" his (W) ~ "down, up, down, up", he said. It's a blob now, but hopefully it'll get better as the year goes on!

 

Then, he had to place his apple in the pocket chart by matching his name to the shape on the chart. His name is always paired with a tree picture (so that he can find the image along with his name).

His job for the day was "inspector".

I have no idea what that job means (neither did Wil at pick-up time).

Maybe next time he'll have a more self-explanatory job!

 

We then walked outside for drop off. The kids start each day on the playground. There was a little boy crying like crazy and literally being pulled off of his mother, so Wil (along with 10 other kids that were there) was kind of nervous. It took two attempts, but finally I told him I'd be back in a minute and to have fun. With a quick kiss and a scoop up of the brother, I was outta there.

 

I returned just in time to spy on some group time. I couldn't stand those Moms when I taught preschool (only because it makes the kids bonkers ~ I promise I'll never do it again), but who cares... I couldn't resist! They were dancing and singing "The Itsy Bitsy Spider"!! Then they started a fun book.

 

Annnnd... He sees me.

Crap! Turn around, child! Behave!!!

 

He had a wonderful first day and told me it was "super fun"!

He's very excited to go again on Thursday.

I did suprisingly well too. It's the first time I've left him in over a year!

So excited for a fun school year!

 

 

 

6 Months...

Is it possible? Yes! It's true! You are officially 6 months old Mr. Jayce. In fact, I missed it! I didn't even write you a Happy 1/2 Birthday post. Oh no. Bad Mommy! I have all of these fabulous media outlets (Facebook, I-Phone, I-Pad, etc. etc. etc.) and I've been letting my little bloggy down. I am back, though and promise never again to take a one month (+) leave of absence.

Ok. Back to the nature at hand. You are one half old, Mr. Jayce! I cannot believe it! It's been a crazy 6 months, but we're not even going to go there this time. Nope! This is a happy post all about you.

You officially weigh 14lbs. 8oz. Still a peanut, but hey, just think of where you started! You're GIGANTIC, I tell ya... HUGE! You are such a joy, my little Tooters. You are always so darn happy and smiley! Colic ~ when? really? No. Not Jayce... YES! It was yucky, but you're like this completely different person these days!

You love to eat ~ pears and sweet potatoes are your favorites, but you've been diggin' the peas and peaches lately too. You love, love, love your Jumperoo. You're a maniac in that contraption and you are enjoying your Bumbo these days too. You love to be outside and go for walks. You still enjoy your Jungle Gym (laying on your back and reaching from side to side here and there to grab a toy is fun, but too easy these days). We've been working hard on rolling over more consistently and sitting up! Bring on the mobility, baby. Let's see what you've got!

 

I'd have to say that your most favorite things these days are your brother and your dog. You could watch these guys all day. You do, actually. Always smiling as one of them catches your eye or giggling when Wil does something funny. Speaking of Wil... he sure is fun! You love to play with him. He's "gentle" most of the time and is doing a great job sharing toys. You both enjoy building with blocks and playing cars. Well, you eat them, which is frustrating to Wil, but he'll get over it.

Wil thinks you're a big guy too. Just like him!

 

For your 6 month birthday, you received something mighty special... your first set of hearing aids! You were so brave as Wendy, your audiologist, placed them in your teeny, tiny ears and you responded right away when they were turned on! She was quite impressed!

You've had your hearing aids for 10 days and you're amazing! You've heard many new things for the first time: clapping, the vaccum cleaner, the lawn mower, and maybe even your brother's squeels (sorry!). Happy Birthday, my little fighter baby! Mommy Loves You!!

 

Hello again...

little boy! I wanted to write you another letter because things have been good here. Good, I tell ya. Now, you know me... when things feel good, I get a little scared. But, gosh I'm so excited with how well you're doing, I decided to write it down. Cheer you on a bit, ya know!!

I feel like there is a moment everyday when I look at you and feel completely amazed. Amazed with how strong you are. How happy you are. And how much you've overcome.

I never have to remind myself what we were faced with upon your birth. I remember writing in my very first post about You that the doctors told us the morning you were born that you may never walk or talk, see or hear. While you were in the hospital, the future was too far away. It didn't cross my mind much. All I wanted was to bring you home. But, when we brought you home, it was all I could think about. The fear of the unknown and the devastation those possibilities brought was all-consuming for me. I just wanted you to be 'normal'. I'm sorry if that's wrong, but that's all I wanted. All the good - family vacations, walks to the park, bedtime stories... and I wanted the not-so-good too - the tantrums, the fighting between brothers, and those awful bedtimes when you won't stay in your room!

Each day, I was trying to prepare myself. If I was ok, you would be too. So would your brother. So would your Dad. If I loved you, others would too. If I believed in you, others would too. I tried to find peace, but it was too hard. Luckily, you pulled through. You encouraged me to hold on. At first with your smiles. It was like you could feel when I needed one. You could feel me needing some kind of connection; a clue that you were 'in there'.  And so it began... the milestones. Each one more precious than the one before it. The milestones I completely overlooked with your brother. The milestones that some Moms may even miss. Each one I held on to and checked off my list. You were making sounds. Following objects; left, right, up and down. You found your hands. You tugged at your blankie. You moved your arms and legs equally. You held your head up and looked around. You rolled over (now I can say it... you ROLL OVER ~ regularly). You folded your hands and reached for toys (crossing the mid-line and all!!! Can you tell I've observed some mighty fabulous OT's in my day!?!) You sit in your Bumbo and your Jumperoo and you're even starting to sit up on your own!! I'm sorry I doubted these things. I'm sorry I doubted you for a minute! It's amazing, really.

I cannot believe how much you've accomplished already. I was so worried about the sitting. Why? I don't know. I'm just crazy like that, I guess. I don't know why I didn't think you'd sit up, but I just knew it was big. Kind of like walking. I will be a wreck until you walk. OK, not a wreck, but it will be on my mind always. It's my last goal. My last "MUST" for you. Will you do it?!? I sure hope so!


For now, things are looking up! You're right on track for a 4 month old. No developmental delays yet. The chances of you having some delays (for the rest of your life, really) are quite possible because you were a premie, you were born with an infection and you had an intraventricular brain bleed. You've got a lot to fight, but my God, you just keep fighting.







We did visit the Children's Hospital this week though, to learn more about your hearing loss. You endured a sedated ABR (auditory brain response test ~ pretty self-explanatory). You were given the same two hour test at 7 weeks old, which is what was used to confirm your hearing loss, however, you were not sedated for the procedure. They wanted to test you again now that you're older (and have been medicated) to see if your loss has improved, but more importantly to determine the settings for your hearing aids, which you'll be fitted for in the next 2 weeks. (Looong, run-on sentence. Sorry.) The test was yucky! The worst part: IV's. I've had my fair share of watching you be stuck with IV's in your short life, so I wasn't present for that procedure (it was Daddy's job). But other than that, you were a trooper! You had a hard time waking up though. Apparently you like that kind of nap! Go figure. Could I get some of that for you on a daily basis!?!

Both arms and one foot were bandaged after a numbing cream was applied to help with that yucky IV.

All hooked up. Work brain, work!

Come back, little boy! IV, blood pressure cuff, and some oxygen.

Here's what we found: you are still profoundly deaf in your right ear. Yep. Nothing. No response to anything. You could be standing next to a jet engine and not hear a thing. But, now here's the interesting part... your left ear has improved. Strange, but exciting! Was it your anti-viral medication or just brain maturation? Don't ask because there's a major debate going on in our house about that these days! Your loss is considered Moderate to Severe, which really doesn't change a lot in the grand scheme of things (you're still deaf), but the good news is, you may respond to a hearing aid in that ear! It also may explain why sometimes we think you're hearing, especailly  your Daddy's voice. You are able to hear low frequency sounds at mid-level decibals. Think a man's regular talking voice (standing right next to your ear). Now, you don't hear like me because your higher frequency sounds are not heard. If you don't have both, you don't have speech (I guess... I've got to research this a bit more). The audiologist tried to explain which letters are low frequency sounds (i.e. m, j and d) and which letters are high frequency sounds (f, s, and th). Of course the others fall somewhere in between. In first grade teacher talk... you cannot blend sounds to make words because you don't hear all of the sounds. Eek! Just thought of something... reading may be tricky, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. So, just because you are able to hear some sound now, it's not in the form of words, but really, what 4 month old understands words!?! We're just happy you can hear anything at all! Now, with a hearing aid, will you hear more? Probably! Some speech? Maybe... we'll just have to wait and see. You'll be fitted for hearing aids for both ears soon. Because your loss is so profound in your right ear, you won't have any benefit from it, but you will learn to have something on your ear physically, which you'll have to get used to if you will be getting a cochlear implant and THAT'S the plan!! 

After dinner smile. On the menu tonight: sweet potatoes!

Well, jeesh. I started this post thinking, "I'll just give an update about your latest hearing test", but as usual, my fingers got away from me once I got started. I've learned in the last almost 5 months (what?) that when I'm having a good day, I have to keep it. I have to store it in my back pocket, or simply right it down, so I can go back to it when a bad day comes. Bad days do come. Still. But, such is life. Let's hold on though, little man. We'll hold on together. We will live.

The Geurts' TOP 10...

Here they are folks!! The top 10 clues that your 2-year-old is ready for potty-training:

10. He goes to the bathroom (in his diaper) in private. You know, like behind the furniture or behind the door. When asked what he's doing (while red-faced and grunting) a simple "nothing" is all you get, but you know darn well he's filling his pants.

9. He is officially wearing a size 6 diaper. Yep. All 34 pounds of him. That's as big as they come... "so, then what?" you're probably wondering... Hmmm, I have no idea.

8. He can climb onto the changing table all by himself. Enough said.

7. He calls his own poop disgusting.

6. He requests that you be "gentle" while you wipe his big butt.

5. He requests butt-cream. Regularly.

4.  He pees in the bath tub EVERY night. Directly following our regular, "let's try to go potty in the toilet routine".

3.  He digs his Thomas and Cars undies. Well, he only enjoys wearing them OVER his diaper. Like, as pants for bedtime. You can blame that brilliant idea on his father who "couldn't find any pajama bottoms in his dresser" one night and thought underwear would do. {P.S. The pile of pajamas was in a basket at the end of the bed. Don't look there, dear, or (sigh) put them away!}

2.  He enjoys tugging on, playing with, and 'flicking' his you-know-what while placed in front of the toilet... or anywhere, really.

AND, the number 1 clue that your child is ready for potty training...

1. His father and I can NEVER go to the bathroom alone. If you don't have children, you may find this strange. If you do have kids, you understand. He's all like, "poopy Mommy, or pee? Me see it!?!  I flush, peez?!?" Sorry if that was too much information...

However, the ONLY reason your child is NOT potty-trained: He totally and completely could care less entirely. Ugh!

Mr. Jayce.

aka... "Naycer" (according to your brother).

It's been a long time since my last letter/update. We've been busy and to be perfectly honest, I never feel confident enough to write to you because every other day I give myself something new to worry about. I'm sorry about that. I'm working on it!

You're pretty darn cute, if I do say so myself. Still small, though. You were just shy of 12 pounds at your appointment last week. Monday, June 25th we have your 4 month check-up (yes! 4 month check-up!) so we'll see how much more you've grown.

Since my last note, we've visited an opthamologist... twice. I think I was over-confident for our initial appointment because we were surprised to hear that you had a small scar behind your left eye that "could cause vision problems". CMV causes cataracts and inflammation around the eye, which can lead to blindness in sympotmatic, congenital CMV patients (like yourself). Of course "blindness" was not even mentioned, the doctor just simply told us to return in 4 weeks and that she would continue to "monitor" you. She was happy to hear that you were taking medication, hopefully it would help and the fact that you've been medicated since your 4th day of life and will continue to be until August was a plus. However, I assumed the worse, as most (crazy) mommies would and went home to research. By our next appointment, I had a list of questions a mile long so that I could prepare myself for any scenario. I researched retinitis, macular scarring, and CMV-related blindness. I learned that the blindness could occur over many years, starting with night vision loss, then peripheral vision loss and then total blindness. The only ray of hope I had was that this process could take years.

We went in to the appointment (I brought your father this time because I learned that I'm waaaaaay to vulnerable to attend these on my own). She answered a few of my questions, but really just wanted to take a look at you. Let me tell you, I felt so incredibly guilty for worrying while I watched this exam (for a second time) ~ the eye exams have been way worse than any blood draw, worse than all of the hearing tests, worse than people pulling on you and poking at you, and even worse than seeing you put in that MRI machine. OK. Maybe not as bad as that first cranial ultrasound, but still bad. The assistant swaddles you really, really snug (normally you'd enjoy this, but not now). She literally lays on top of you and holds your head still. The doctor (who I really like, by the way) then prys your little eyes open with her fingers and then with a metal device because you refuse to open them for her. You cry and cry. It takes about 20 minutes. As I'm writing this, it reminds me how bad it really was. I still cannot believe what you've went through in your short life.

Long story short, well, not so short really. All of my worrying, all of my questions, all of my fear for your future... gone. The scar behind your eye was gone. Gone. Ok then. Great! That's all I'm going to write because if I get too excited, I get scared that someone's going to take it away from you. From us. We go back again at the end of August for a full-on eye exam to check for "other things", but the doctor was very pleased and really not worried about you.

I tell ya! You scare us with the worse-case scenarios and then seem to overcome them. All of them! You're one tough cookie!!

The hearing loss is still all we're dealing with at this time. You have another 3 hour hearing test on July 17. This time you'll be sedated for the procedure. Yes. It's going to be awful to watch you be "put under", but they tell me we'll get a super accurate display of your hearing loss issues.

So, July should be easy! I cannot believe how many appoitments you had to attend only weeks ago. At least two a week since we brought you home. I cannot believe that in July we only have one!! Yippeeeee!

August, well, August won't be as fun. We see everyone again in August because you'll be approaching your 6 month birthday! We see the Neuro-Surgeon. The Opthamologist. Birth~3 returns for another OT/PT observation. AND you will be fit for your first pair of hearing aids, and begin your Speech Therapy sessions. Hopefully we'll get all of these out of the way and NEVER have to go back, well with the exception of your hearing loss issues/Speech.

In other news... you've been working hard on your tummy time and sitting up. You're still a little wobbly, in my opinion and I'm worried about your core strength. My latest obsession is sitting and of course, walking. I sure hope you can do these things... in the meantime, you humor me and never really get too mad. I'm sure you're thinking, "this again, Mom? Oh, great!" I've already contacted Birth~3 and they're sending me some handouts with activities to help strengthen your muscles and hopefully help to continue to improve your gross motor skills. You. Will. Walk.

In better news... you smile. Oh, you're so cute when you smile. You smile A LOT! More than I've ever seen a baby smile. Grandma says you smile so hard it's like you could just burst. From the top of your head to the tips of your toes. Your eyes completely light up! You giggle too. Usually when I'm making a funny face at you or if I'm tickling your shoulders. You love your brother. He scares you a bit, because you're never quite sure what he's going to do (me neither, he scares me too!), but you love him and he loves you. Period. I never thought this bond between the two of you would happen so quickly. Wil talks to you all day long... when you sneeze, "God bless, Naycer", when you wake up from a nap, "morning, Naycer!" and if you're playing on your tummy babbling to yourself Wil comes running, "Nayce talk-a-me, Momma!" He's kissing you in the picture to the right, not like you can't tell! :)

You love your swing. You love your bouncy seat. You love to be swaddled. You love your new jungle gym your little, neighbor Jeffrey let you borrow. You love to be cuddled and talked to and carried around. You love your Momma (it's true, you're a Momma's boy). YES!!! You don't enjoy your Bumbo seat, or your carseat, or too much sun in your eyes or breeze on your cheeks. You don't enjoy sleeping during the day either, which is why your bedtime is 6:00pm. I suppose it's because you never want to miss anything and I'm understanding that when you close your eyes, your world shuts off; makes sense, I guess. You had the dreaded "colic" for 10 weeks straight. You screamed every night from 4:00-7:00. It sucked! But, we changed your formula (you're expensive) and established a more consistent bedtime routine and that has helped! I'm not going to jinx it. Please, don't prove me wrong. You've also slept through the night pretty consistently for about 2 weeks. Please, don't prove me wrong on that, too. Aaah, I just shouldn't have said anything.

You have so quickly become our family's greatest challenge and most AMAZING triumph. You inspire us each and every day... to just live. I realized after that eye exam and a crappy visit to your Infectious Disease doctor that I'm not living. Just waiting. I'm waiting for the next shoe to drop, so to speak. Waiting for someone to tell me something ~ anything. You are blind. You are not blind. You will walk. You will not walk. And so on, and so on. In the meantime, I'm missing everything. I'm missing you. How sad is that?!? It's awful, really. My vow to you is to live. To live and to love and to have faith and hope (and maybe a little pixy dust borrowed from your sweet girl, Nadia).

Until next time little boy...

Poop.

A scene from my kitchen window... My thoughts are as follows:

"Oh, no. Yes, Wil that is a pile of Gravel's poop. What is he thinking?"

"Please don't touch it. Please don't touch it."

"Oh.My.God. He's totally trying to scoop it up with his shovel."

(Insert every swear word you can think of ~ I said them out loud.)

"I'll wash his hands later, I guess. I'll wash them really, really good."